I just came across this facebook post from November 2009 - Summary of my 1st day as a SAHM: Tyler wakes up with a red, swollen, goopy eye. Mommy and Grandma pack up both kids to go to Mommy's Cardiologist. Then off to the Pediatrician. Lunch. Chandler starts getting yucky eye. Aunt Kat watches boys so Mommy can take her class. Mommy puts boys down for nap, but they wake up before the lasagna is finished. Mommy sends out an SOS to Grandma...Success???
I'm kind of surprised after a day like that that I still wanted to be a SAHM. I guess you've got to go big or go home. Maybe God was starting me off with a bang so my job would seem easier after the illness was over?
And now a word about play areas... These are the bad weather solution for parents who have kids afflicted with cabin fever. They are wonderful. A nice, confined area for the kids to run around and play with some degree of safety. They are not the cleanest places on the planet, but kids get dirty no matter where they are. And I can often drink an entire large Mocha in relative peace while we are visiting. But...I am on constant guard to make sure that my children are safe and playing nicely. And it would make my day if all of the other parents were paying a bit of attention as well. Take yesterday, for instance. One of the little girls in the McPlayplace brought a bottle of bubbles with her. And then proceeded to spill (or dump) those bubbles inside unnoticed. I saw another little girl enter the area with napkins and thought "what are they up to?" Then I saw them clearly trying to clean something up. Then I saw the mostly empty bubbles container. The girls left that area with my boys still in there, and who knows what mess, so my mom went in to inspect and clean up any leftovers. The little girl's mother never even noticed. Not even when the girl thought she might get in trouble and went to confess. She didn't notice until the person across from her pointed out my mom cleaning it up. And even then, she didn't offer to help or apologize. And then...she gave the girl another bottle of bubbles!!! Seriously?!?!
I am not going to lie. I am absolutely "that mom" when it comes to my kids' safety. But...I fight it with every fiber of my being. I try to let them figure things out on their own. I do not go into the play area unless absolutely necessary because I figure it's better for them to figure things out on their own. My philosophy is that if they can't do it on their own, they shouldn't be doing it. But I'm not going to let them get hurt either. And I'm not going to let them hurt someone else's child...even if they might "deserve" it.
As a parting thought, I understand that you can't keep your child home in bed for every runny nose. But please, please, please don't take them to the play area and then have a conversation with your companion about how this is the first outing you've had in a week because of the horrible flu your child has and that you dressed him in shorts because you weren't sure the fever was gone.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Stare if you Must
Is it just me, or does the entire world stop and stare when one (or both) of my boys act up in public. As soon as they start acting out, I immediately go into critical soothe mode. Anything and everything must be done to SHUT HIM UP! But then reason kicks in. And, for better or worse, I try very hard to maintain the discipline we work so hard on at home. Which means that I am all too often "that mom" in the stores. The mom that people are staring at because her kid is screaming. The mom who is giving her kids a timeout in the Home Depot parking lot. The mom who is hauling her kid, kicking and screaming, out of the grocery store to sit in the car while he cries his heart out because he would not listen to reason.
Not so long ago, a friend was complaining about a mom breezily shopping while her baby cried in the car seat. They were appalled at the mother's lack of attention being paid to the child. I wish I had been there to give that mother a little support. Because it is unlikely that she didn't care that her baby was crying. She probably knew that nothing she could do would soothe the baby at that point. And she was most likely trying to get in and out of that store as quickly as humanly possible.
And then there was the time that my companion complained about the mother who wasn't doing anything to control her kids during a flight. I saw a mom that was travelling alone with 3 small children. This was long before I had any children. Today, I would ask the mom if she wanted me to hold her baby for a bit so she could get a break. Back then, I could only think to offer what I hoped was a supportive smile.
I would give anything for a supportive smile some days. Instead of the evil eye because I dared put my children on leashes. It was not my intention to "walk" them like dogs. But rather, I was hoping that if my one year old twins were not willing to hold my hand that I would have a measure of safety in the very large and crowded museum. Admittedly, it didn't work. They strained at their leashes, in opposite directions of course, and we never got anywhere. And I put them, kicking and screaming, back in their strollers. And then we practiced walking nicely in the house for months before we tried it out of the house again.
I don't believe there is one right way to do things. And I am willing to listen to your point of view. But in the end, I am going to make the choices that I feel are right for my kids. And if that means that you are going to stare at me while I try to gain control of the situation, then bring it on!
Not so long ago, a friend was complaining about a mom breezily shopping while her baby cried in the car seat. They were appalled at the mother's lack of attention being paid to the child. I wish I had been there to give that mother a little support. Because it is unlikely that she didn't care that her baby was crying. She probably knew that nothing she could do would soothe the baby at that point. And she was most likely trying to get in and out of that store as quickly as humanly possible.
And then there was the time that my companion complained about the mother who wasn't doing anything to control her kids during a flight. I saw a mom that was travelling alone with 3 small children. This was long before I had any children. Today, I would ask the mom if she wanted me to hold her baby for a bit so she could get a break. Back then, I could only think to offer what I hoped was a supportive smile.
I would give anything for a supportive smile some days. Instead of the evil eye because I dared put my children on leashes. It was not my intention to "walk" them like dogs. But rather, I was hoping that if my one year old twins were not willing to hold my hand that I would have a measure of safety in the very large and crowded museum. Admittedly, it didn't work. They strained at their leashes, in opposite directions of course, and we never got anywhere. And I put them, kicking and screaming, back in their strollers. And then we practiced walking nicely in the house for months before we tried it out of the house again.
I don't believe there is one right way to do things. And I am willing to listen to your point of view. But in the end, I am going to make the choices that I feel are right for my kids. And if that means that you are going to stare at me while I try to gain control of the situation, then bring it on!
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