The Beginning...

For a while now, many of my friends have told me that I should be writing our adventures down for others to enjoy. I am not a writer by any stretch of the imagination. And I have no idea what, if anything, I will have to say. I am also not an editor and I am certain that there will be multiple errors on an all too frequent basis. If nothing else comes of this, I can be certain that my boys will be horribly embarrassed to know this blog ever existed when they are old enough to care. And that's reason enough for me...

Be prepared for a long, mostly boring memory...I hope it will get better as I start writing about the present and leave the past behind.

♪♫♪ Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start... ♪♫♪

This is my blog, so I get to decide what the beginning is. For me, it's the day of our Catholic Marriage Blessing. That's the day that several people began to suspect that I was pregnant. Not me, but other people. Because that's the day that I started to get sick. I was so nauseous that I forgot to put my wedding ring on and left it sitting in the bathroom of the public restroom at our Church. I couldn't eat my favorite carrot cake or anything else. And I just couldn't believe that I would get the flu on that day. The next morning, I woke up early and still feeling nauseous. With my husband asleep, I went to my mom's house for some company. She told me I needed to take a pregnancy test, which was ridiculous because I knew I wasn't pregnant. I could feel PMS symptoms already. None the less, she drove me to the drugstore and made me buy a test kit to use if/when I wanted to. And I took it later that afternoon with no thoughts in my head other then proving her wrong. I didn't even tell my husband. If you've ever tried to get pregnant for a long time without success, you know that there comes a point when you just give up hope. You take the test and set in for the 3 minute wait that will tell you that you are not pregnant. So, it was a complete shock when I looked down while washing my hands and saw PREGNANT!!! Of course I told my husband right away, and told him how quickly it had happened. He wanted to be certain and asked me to take another test. I did. And after it also came up PREGNANT, I said "two positives, must be twins..."

Flash forward a few weeks...My doctor confirmed the pregnancy and scheduled me to come in after regular hours for a fun, unofficial ultrasound. That's when he asked us how many babies we had wanted. "How many babies are in there?" I asked. And he told us it was twins. After the shock wore off, we were ecstatic. "Two for One Sale" we told all of our friends and family. I just couldn't believe our good luck. Sure, it would be hard, but I knew we were up for the challenge. I just didn't know the challenge would start so soon.

Memorial Day weekend brought my severe "morning sickness" to a head. I wasn't able to keep even a drink of water down and my anti-nausea medications were making me sick. Off to the ER we went. Where they gave me IV medications and fluid. But that didn't work either and I was admitted for my first stay in the hospital. And I was officially diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Or, as I like to call it, Morning Sickness from Hell. They spent a few days pumping me full of fluids, prescribed even more anti-nausea medications and sent me home.

Fast forward a few weeks...Yet another check-up revealed that I had now lost 30 pounds since the start of the pregnancy and I was still not eating anything. And it was off to the hospital again. Several days of fluids and studying my food and water intake convinced my doctors that a PICC line was my best option for the health of the babies. No gory details here, except that it hurt, a lot when they put it in. It took three attempts with no pain medication. But, at last I was able to "feed" my babies.

November 18, 2008. I woke up early and in a lot of pain. Back labor? Maybe. So I called my mom. After a couple of hours of constant pain, mixed with fairly steady contractions, I called my doctor who had us go straight to the hospital. All the nurses buzzed around me, getting me set-up and hooked to a monitor, where I was confirmed to be having contractions. They then checked my cervix. The nurse threw my legs down in disgust and announced that I was not at all dilated. It was "only" preterm labor. Ummmm...sorry. My doctor had them run some tests and Mike and my mom went to work. No need to waste a day if there weren't going to be any babies. And the whole hospital thing was old news by now. So I peed in a cup, had some blood drawn and was wheeled down to ultrasound, where I waited...and waited...and waited. The pain medication they had given me had completely worn off by the time I got into the ultrasound. And then I was wheeled back upstairs, where the b*tch nurse informed me they were going to have to move me to another room because "they needed this room for someone who was ACTUALLY going to deliver today." Then she looked down at my blood pressure reading. And took it again. Then she asked me to relax and took it again. Then she changed arms and took it again. And again. Suddenly she was very sweet and told me she was just going to call my doctor and she'd be right back. Luckily my husband was already in route to the hospital because a few minutes later the doctor came in and explained they were going to have to do a c-section and it was "a little bit of an emergency." We didn't have time to induce. My husband arrived right after that announcement and I was wheeled off to surgery. I got to see my beautiful babies for a minute before they were wheeled off to the NICU, with Chandler being put on oxygen. I was wheeled down to recovery and then to my post-partum room...for about half a second. My doctor had me transferred to the ICU immediately because my body was shutting down from HELLP Syndrome. And that's the last coherent memory I have for four days. I was on Magnesium to prevent seizures from the high blood pressure and I received two blood transfusions. I have bits and pieces of memories, but nothing clear until the Magnesium was stopped and I was moved to a post-partum room. And all I can say is "I'm sorry." I am so very sorry that my husband had to go through all of that without me to support him. He had to see our Chandler on oxygen. He was the first to see Chandler and Tyler with feeding tubes, and jaundice incubators. And he was rock solid.